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Thank you to all of our fans who supported
us and were faithful to the cause of the Outer Loop. It is because of
you that we held the motivation to keep it up for as long as we did.
You all deserve a trophy! Sorry guys ... you'll just have to settle for
a permanent photo-shot on the website of a deceased rock n roll band!
(If you are an unidentified loopy, or know who these loopies are, please let us know!)
I was driving through the projects one afternoon, up to no good, when I spotted a rare opportunity to do something that was, in fact, good. Among the rubbage on the side of the road was an enourmous panther, obviously having a bad day, laying legs up with an empty bottle of whiskey between his back two paws. He was neither holding out a can for money or looking at you with eyes that say "pity me, you bastard!". He just lay there barely purring to the tune of some unrecognizeable 80's hair metal song.
I got out of my car and walked over to the panther and suddenly realized I had seen his picture before. Not on a milk carton, or America's Most Wanted, but ironically, in band photos of Def Leppard (Yes, I used to read Tiger Beat as a pre-adolescent ...) Then I remembered the awful story I had read in The Weekly World News about the ex-roadie panther that had ruined his life with booze and hard drugs that were introduced to him during his Rock N Roll days.
After urging the Panther to his feet unsuccesfully, I decided to try a different form of motivation. I went back to my car, rolled down the windows, cranked up the stereo, and put in The Outer Loop's CD, "Who's On the Ceiling?". The panther's tail began to pulsate, then one paw, began to move as though he were being tickled. Before long, the Panther was up on all fours at attention with a definitive smile on his face.
I said to the Panther "You will relive your days as a Rock N Roll panther, only this time, you will be a cleaner panther. No more hard drugs for you. You will be much happier with The Outer Loop. We will take care of you and our fans will love you. We will call you Oelle." I opened the car door and Oelle jumped in wantingly. We rode home together speechless, Loop music playing, and Oelle purring loudly and proudly.
Today, Oelle owes his life to The Outer Loop, and in return, has committed to serving as their permanent bouncer. The eye of Oelle is on everyone at all times, usually in a very lovable and favorable light, but the instinctive fury of the panther can cut lose at any moment if unforgiveable sins are committed. At one point in his previous roady experience, Oelle was tweaked on amphetamines when Def Leppard's drummer decided to make some snide remarks about the feline species. Look what happened to Def Leppard's drummer.
So for your own benefit, and for Oelle's peace of mind, get a picture with him. After all, you don't want to be on the bad side of an ex-junkie panther, now do you??
** Please let us know if any names on this page are incorrect. We try to get all the info right, but mistakes slip through, and we wouldn't want to leave anyone out (or certify the wrong person ...) **